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[27 Sep 2005|12:06am] |
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It'd be nice to not feel like shit, for once.
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[06 Sep 2005|12:13am] |
Can I tell you now
As you turn to go
I pretend as if I were to be holding onto you.
I pretend it is you tracing the shape of my body.
I pretend that everything is okay,
but it's not
I'll be dying slowly
'til the next hello
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| I always let my guard down. |
[11 Jul 2005|05:37pm] |
I don't want the ability to care anymore. It almost always happens instantly. There will be one defining moment where I care so much that it almost kills me. Can I sell my soul to the devil? I really think it will be best for me and my future. Because I can't care anymore, it kills me everytime i'm let down. I'm always let down.
It's so easy for people to say I care about you too, but why is it so hard for them to actually mean it? It's so easy for anyone to say one thing to make a person smile for that moment but it's even easier for them to turn their back on you. Words come so easy to some people, but it isn't as easy for the person that has to think and think and think and think about it to pick up the pieces.
Can my life start now? I'm ready for it to start. Because all it has been so far is nonsense. It's all meant so much to me, but it's meant shit for everyone who was in it.
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[18 Jun 2005|06:46pm] |
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Alice in Wonderland was Christopher Robins babysitter.
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| Forever is a long time and time changes everything. |
[05 Jun 2005|10:59pm] |
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My mind is a monster, I can't control it's thoughts. I refuse to believe things I don't want to believe. That is why I think I never move on. Please stop living in your false sense of security, Lee. Because that is exactly what it is, false.
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[04 Apr 2005|10:52pm] |
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The story of my life is on repeat. Like a badly done song. Things won't change. They will just keep replaying until I go crazy and hibernate like the bears do. Boy, I cannot wait until I can hibernate.
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[07 Mar 2005|02:47pm] |
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Hopefully in time I will find the point of living this life that I am living. Actually I don't think that I would be any happier if I knew there were a point. Freedom is in my reach. Just one more week. I can do this. I really don't think anyone realizes how fucking bizarre our lives are. What is the point of anything? What is the point of hurting people? What is the point of um anything? Rambling Rambo. That is me.
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[08 Feb 2005|12:53pm] |
give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give.
take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take.
give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give.
take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take.
When you spell it over and over again it starts to look like a bunch of letters with no meaning.
When it happens this way for your entire life you start to feel like your life has no meaning.
Where do I go from here? I do all of this to myself. I don't care how unhealthy it is to not care about yourself. I don't care if I fucked myself over. I don't care because I did it to myself and I will do something about it.
I would like to invest my money in a memory eraser. I like how I can't remember how to reduce a fraction for a pound of pot, yet all I can remember is the past.
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[23 Jan 2005|05:28am] |
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No one knows. Everyone just gets small dosages of sober Lee.
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[20 Jan 2005|10:20pm] |
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.
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[29 Dec 2004|01:32pm] |
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If you could paint rainbows black, you would.
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[30 Nov 2004|07:23pm] |
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toasting with old friends to new friends.
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[25 Oct 2004|05:04pm] |
we are the couple called suicide.
we are the red cross white flag.
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[19 Oct 2004|08:08pm] |
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How is trading this is in looking?
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[07 Sep 2004|09:34pm] |
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Why don't you take a good look at yourself and describe what you see
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[25 Aug 2004|07:04pm] |
Two cigarettes in an ashtray
My love and I, in a small cafe
Then a stranger came along
And everything went wrong
Now there's three cigarettes in the ashtray
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[24 Aug 2004|08:33am] |
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I will never fail at failing.
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[09 Aug 2004|07:37pm] |
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darling, when did you fall?
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[05 Aug 2004|05:53pm] |
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I hate thinking about love, it really is all a joke. I hate listening to my teacher talk about success being all about money, does nobody realize being happy with yourself is success? There are such greater things to think about then fucking money, big houses, nice cars, and being popular. There is more beauty in the world then pretty faces and fake personalities. I wish the world were simpler, but there is a slim chance of that. I love simple things, like napolean dynamite and sitting in a car smoking cigarettes.
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